Monday, August 18, 2008 . 8:30 AM

Weekend passed in a whirl. I woke late on Saturday (as usual) and it was pouring. That strangely made me feel better about waking late cuz rainy days are made for sleeping in.

Then, for the first time in a long long time, I hit town on a Saturday. Sharon and I had dinner and then, for want of better things to do, we sat in front of the MRT station and chatted. And people-watched.

And came to the following conclusions:

1. The only people who came to town on weekends anymore are all below the age of 22.
2. Singaporean men are skinny and desperately need to improve their dress sense.
3. If we ever want to be attached, we need to lower our standards. By a large margin.
4. We'll really rather be in Taipei, Ximending.
5. Boys/Men really shouldn't be sporting skinny jeans in jellybeans color. It's unnatural.

We sat there for 2-3 hours and Sharon bumped into 2 friends. I bumped into no one. That should hardly be surprising since I don't have many friends and Sharon has tonnes. Which is why her chances of finding a partner should be significantly higher than mine. But why aren't her friends introducing eligible bachelors to her? I'm her friend, but unless she wants MM, I don't know any other single, available men.

Is that the case for most people? They simply don't know anyone good enough for their friends.

So then who else can we rely on to introduce a man who can be a potential candidate to share his DNA with for your progeny? Our government seems to think that our parents hold the key.

You know the NTUC ad that said mother knows best? Well, our PM Lee wants us to take that literally and listen to our parents when it comes to seeking our life partners. And where did he learn such... progressive methods of matchmaking? Where else but in China?

You know, since they're holding the Olympics this year and have such a large population, they MUST know the secret to floating falling birth rates, never mind their disastrous one-child policy.

Seriously, why don't we just bind the feet of young girls now while we're at it?

I really don't have an issue with the government establishing SDU (for graduates ONLY), even if I think it's the ultimate elitist behaviour. What? We're not good enough if we're ONLY Diploma holders? Suppose if we inter-breed with the graduates we'll produce less than sterling offsprings and ruin the Republic?

But I had organised events for SDU and know what kind of members they have, so I can hazard a guess that maybe the government is really trying to protect us from them...

Anyhow, the big question is, do we really have to end up going back to traditional methods to get hitched? Do parents really know what is best for their children? Is the freedom to choose our life partner over-rated? It looks like the more choices we have, the more we find it hard to choose.

I, for one, believe that there's a better man out there than this sad, pathetic bunch who vie for seats with old ladies on trains. It's a common sight if you actually take public transport. For some reason, though they might be suit-wearing, PDA-totting, they are still unable to read the 'Priority Seat' sign. Gosh, did we go through a different education system? I didn't have trouble reading the sign at all. Or perhaps you don't recognise the signs of old age?

Let me give you some clues: usually gray hair, wrinkles and awful sense of balance ups the chances of these people being eldery. And those women with protruding stomachs? Well, I have news for you, they didn't just swallow a cow, they're probably trying to do what the government has been telling us is our civic duty. Like give birth to future leaders.

And what are you stupid men doing? You orgasmed and that's it. You don't have to suffer morning sickness, bloatedness, cramps and agonizing pain during labour. You don't have to go without showering for a month after labor or breast-feed. You experience pleasure and then you're job is done, how fair is that? So you definitely DO NOT need a seat on the train more than the pregnant woman in front of you does!

And I wonder why I'm still single... I don't think I want my child to have any of those traits in her genetic make-up. It would be a complete sin and I'm an evil enough person as it is.

Nope, unless I find a saintly man who gives up his seat on the train to the eldery and pregnant ladies, I'm staying single. Oh, and thanks but no thanks mom, you know better than to set me up with anyone. SDU? Don't make me laugh.