Friday, August 15, 2008 . 2:26 PM
Friday. I'm sleepy.Usually, I'm more vocal about my love for Fridays, what with it being the last working day of the week and all. But today, I'm simply worn out from too much food and not enough work-out.
Yes, I know how that sounds: sick.
But I can't help it. I feel guilty about the amount of food I've put into myself. Don't ask me what they were, I don't want to remember. But a couple of items involved pork floss and deep frying... *drool*
Aaron pinged me this morning to comment that I must have loved 8day's theme (Ah-Lian) this week. How utterly and completely evil. But that's my friend for you. I learnt the finer nuances of Evilness from His Royal Bitchness, you see. Anyway, I think everyone needs to have their eyes (and brain) checked.
I am not LIAN. Not at all. If anything, I'm a NERD.
Yes, I'm a nerd and you know what? I'm damn proud of it. I even have the glasses to prove it. Plus I'll choose a good book over a night out any night; my room is dusty because of the sheer amount of books sitting in a corner gathering dust. And... and I don't paint my nails (anymore).
That's a true sign of nerdiness ok?!
I'll really rather tackle nerdiness than lianness because nerdiness is in now! Look at Kahlil Fong. He epitomes nerd-cool. He's not a goodlooking guy but I'll date him without hesitation if he asks ('if he asks' being the key). He's got such a smooth voice... yum~
So yes, I like nerds quite a fair bit. Much than than bengs. Or those ABC-wannabes. Or Angmoh Pais like Aaron. No, I don't like those and I suspect that the feeling's mutual. At least until now, my target audience never venture far from bengs and uncles. Very sad I know. But I could do worse... how? Don't ask me, I don't know either, but I'm trying hard to console myself here!!!
I kind of figured out (finally?) what my real problem is.
You know those people who experiment with drugs because of their curiosity? Nope, not me.
Or those who invent magical stuff like telephone and plane because they're curious about what it would be like to have
Those who slipped into wonderous daydreams while going through their mundane lives, wondering 'what if'? Now, that's closer to me.
See, the thing is, I don't like getting hurt. I know, nobody likes getting hurt, except those who're into S&M, so why should that be my excuse? But I'm not trying to find an excuse, I'm just trying to find the cause of the rut I've fallen into. So I can attempt/pretend to dig myself out.
In my 25 years, I have never sprain any part of my body before. Neither have I fracture anything, not even a finger. I say that like it's a bad thing, but I think that people who live in the moment would inevitably get hurt. And because they get hurt, their capacity to deal with pain increase. I don't have that ability because I've been too worried considering the depth and cause of the would-be pain.
Instead of living life, I think about it. All I seem to do is think. And then whine.
God, I'm becoming one of those unbearable people who doesn't take charge of their life to effect change and instead complain endlessly about the lot handed out to them. Instead of giving it my best shot since I've only been given one chance, I groan and complain bitterly.
Shit.
I am what I hate the most: All talk and no action!
If this is The Revelation, then it sucks major ass.