Friday, October 19, 2007 . 6:54 PM

I'm blogging from the office because the words are bursting out of me and I have got to get them out.

I don't understand. Seriously, I feel like I'm the guy, trying to understand the quicksilver moods of a girl. He says that he has no respect for girls who throw themselves at him despite knowing that her best friend is interested in him. He says he has no interest in someone who made use of his feelings for her. He says he sees me as his sister and will not violate my trust in him.

The next thing I know he is telling me that he is feeling restless and that he has been flirting with 2 girls for the past hour and... they are warming his bed this weekend.

To say I am shell-shocked is putting it lightly. What exactly transpired between 1pm to 5.30pm to make him change his tune? To the extent of asking me if I'll like to be one of his girls. This is a bright red stop sign shouting at me, if there ever was one. I should stop. Should flung the door in his face. Should do everything in my power to protect myself and stop this downward spiral.

I can do it because I have done it before. But... being the sucker I am, being the stupid, idealistic person that I am, I can't leave him. In my mind, I have already spun all sorts of excuses for him. My heart is aching for him. So how can I turn my back on him?

I dont know what is going on. Absolutely no idea. I can only wait.

After all, what else can I do?