Wednesday, August 22, 2007 . 8:46 PM

I'm completely pissed off at the moment. I'm surprised that steam isn't coming out of my ears right now.

It really doesn't pay to care too much. Maybe there is some truth to being hedonistic, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be bothered so much about what people feel, think or do. It sucks when people you care about misinterpret your good intentions. It bothers me when I don't get to voice my views.

All I'm asking is some time and tolerance from people who are supposed to love me. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so!

I was on the bus, on the way home a few hours ago when a thought struck me from out of nowhere. It wasn't the first time I'm having this thought: I don't want to have kids. What if they turn out to be like my sister?

She is unmanageable. So much so that we would like to murder her in her sleep - figuratively, of course. I wonder if I had ever been that rebellious. Perhaps I was too much of a coward to rebel so completely. If Lucifer had a form, it was surely her - though she lacks his much lauded charisma.

This year alone, Lord only knows how many exams/classes she has skipped, not to mention last year. She got into a spot of trouble last year and did not attend school for a few months. And our education system, the same one developed countries like US and Europe region oohed and aahed over, still passed her and moved her up to the next grade. I wonder how they figured she can pass her Sec 3 exams when she failed her Sec 2 ones. And I wonder why they did not downgrade her to NT so she can at least catch up.

Don't get me wrong, I don't look down NT students. I think everyone has their own place in life. But the fact is, in Singapore, if you're not enterprising, then you sure as hell better have an education. I am as un-enterprising as they come, which explains the degree.

And this younger sister of mine? Well, if you call playing online games and chatting all day enterprising, then she can quit school right about now.

I don't know what to do with her. It is her life. She wants to throw it away, who am I to stand in her way? Maybe I'm making too much of a fuss. Maybe there are bigger things out there for her than getting an education. If so, perhaps she should start looking for that bigger thing now and quit wasting everyone's time, energy and concern.