Thursday, March 26, 2009 . 11:34 PM

Nope, didn't bump into him on the bus again today. I can't decide yet if I am disappointed or relieved. Relieved, I would think.

Anyway, despite what Elsie claims, I am not hung up or still have unresolved issues. And why I'm still talking about him is because I lead a super boring life now. A blast from the past is news for me. How sad is that, huh?

I feel unproductive at work both yesterday and today. I spent most of today putting together stuff for a magazine's beauty awards. It took me better part of the day to finish it. I have got to work faster and to be more thorough with my work. I am frustrated sometimes that I miss things out or make silly mistakes that can be avoided if I had checked my work just once more.

Laziness really is the biggest hurdle for me to cross.

Well, is this a boring entry or what? Can I help it that I'm a boring person and therefore couldn't blog about my exciting social life. Some people live for the drama in their life. Me, I live for the drama in others' lives. This probably explains why I get so involved in friends' lives, why I enjoy watching videos so much.

Living vicariously through others.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009 . 9:57 AM

This couple of days, I've been on a bloody roller coaster ride in the mornings. I've gone three years without bumping into him in town and then, wham!

Twice in a week, I bump into him on the same bus. What are the odds of that happening?

Some explanation is necessary, though words are really inadequate expressions at the moment. Basically, the man who so callously broke my heart three years ago has surfaced from whichever rock he has hidden himself under.

Yes, I know he's married and oh-so-in-love with his wife. It's not like I'm still in love with him, but it's just hellishly awkward because we were friends (at the very least) and we went out extremely regularly. I want to be cool about it, I do. But then... damn it.

Am I the one who made things so awkward between us?

I guess, it would be a combination of guilt on his part and embarrassment on mine. He left me wondering what the hell was so wrong with me that he couldn't fall in love with me. If my self-esteem wasn't high before him, it laid in shreds after him... and this is after both Alvin & Leo did an admirable job of stomping me first.

But it's through trials that we become stronger right? I am stronger now, so strong that sometimes I wonder if I still have a heart beneath the steel protection. Or have I left it at home, in a safe?

Monday, March 09, 2009 . 9:48 AM

Well, the big news of the week past isn't how badly the economy is suffering. I guess journalist and the general public exhausted that subject. Nope, the big news are as follows:

1. Edison Chen arriving at our sunny shores to launch Addidas and Carl's Junior thick burgers.
2. Jamie Yeo and Glenn Ong spilting up, then taking swipes at each other via the media. Oh, and they both happen to be dating other people already. (No... I'm not condemning them or anything, God forbid I should have that right.)

Meanwhile, in the northern corner of this tiny island, the biggest happening for a certain locally born and bred girl/woman is the 21st birthday of her biological sister.

As with all 21st birthdays (with the exception of her own), someone somewhere dictated that one must ALWAYS celebrate it with a big bang. And so the beloved boyfriend went on to organise a BBQ at a chalet in the eastern part of said island and invited practically the entire world.

Well, considering my aversion to crowds and socialising with strangers, you can imagine that I looked forward to this gathering as much as I looked forward to have my tooth extracted. Slowly. Sans anaesthesia.

So came that fateful day and I tried to work up some enthusiasm for the event. I must have managed somehow because I got out of the house, somewhat human. Before we head on to the party, of course we had to get the birthday girl a present right?

Option one: PSP

That option was shot to pieces when we found out that a spanking new PSP costs an arm and a leg. (If you're curious, it actually costs $500 upwards, frigging hell!) Apparently, SONY got smart and made the new batch of PSPs such that it can't be 'moded' for owners to download games, instead of buying the expensive original ones. Hence, the vendors are now capitalising on this and jacking the prices for the last batch of 'moded' PSP up sky high. The vendor promised me that 'prices will only go higher'. Yeah, why don't you go rob the bank or something?

Option two: Assorted stickers & notebooks & whatnots from my fav store in AMK Hub

The plan was to get a box for the gift mom got. But since I haven't chosen a present at this point in time and I didn't really fancy sharing a present with mom (reeks of insincerity), I decided to pick a gift from my fav shop. Hey, it's my fav shop for a reason all right? First, they have really cool schedulers imported from Korea. Why are they cool? Cos every page in the book is different and printed in full color. Woah... I'm a sucker for books, naturally I'm suckered into buy... over $80 worth of goodies on my first visit. That makes me a priviledged sucker cos now I have their membership card! Neni-neni-poo-poo~

Anyway, I ended up with this soft toy that has 'pockets' at the sides where you can put your hands into to keep them warm. You can also use it to pillow your head in your arms when you fall asleep while working on your laptop or when you skive at work. Hah!

It suits the birthday girl to a tee cos she does that frequently (fall asleep while on her laptop, not skivving. She doesn't skivve. I think.).

With the gift settled (there was a short episode where mom thought there was a gray version of the white soft toy when the salesgirl really was colorblind and called the white toy, gray. Duh!), we headed to the chalet where I lost my temper at the rude taxi-driver (really, is there any other kind?).

Who the hell knew that there is not one, but TWO Costa Sands Resorts around the same area? Definitely not me, girl-who-lives-in-north. You would have thought a cab driver would know, since it's his job to know these recreational hotspots. I can forgive a cab driver not knowing where certain HDB blocks in Punggol is, but not when it comes to popular places like Costa Sands Resorts or Singapore Zoo or Haw Par Villa. God save us from incompetent taxi drivers.

So birthday girl and boyfriend swooped in to save the day with grandpa's trusty old (I mean old) car. We made it to the BBQ in one, rather, two pieces.

But horrors!!!

There were no food left when we reached at 9ish. But I don't want to go into the whole she-bangs. Having listened to mom's 45-mins tirade as I sat in the back of the car on the way to Newton Circus for stingray & la-la after the obligatory cake-cutting ceremony, I'll spew a fountain of blood if anyone breathes another word of how un-catered the event is.

Really, I don't care if I don't eat a chicken wing or satay there. I was there for the birthday, not the food.

Anyway, the food at Newton tastes much better. Thanks for letting the food run out! v(^_^)v

Wednesday, March 04, 2009 . 12:26 AM

The more I learn about 'adult' relationships, the more relieved I feel that I am single.

I don't understand how two people who are unrelated, who were strangers until serenipity brought them together, can share their bodies, but not their hearts and future.

That feels so much like mating to me and it's so... animalistic. No offense, I know sex is a primal instinct that ensures humanity survival, but...

All right, I'm a prune; it can't be helped since I've been brought up in a super conservative and traditional family. Mum disapproves of dating before, like, 30. Which explains why I'm still single.

It really is tiring to have a mum who married her first boyfriend because she expects you to do the same. Things have changed since your time, Mom.
Relationship are complex and never what they seem on the outside. One couple can seem made for each other, but no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Having learn some things I'd rather not know about, I'm disappointed and upset at how fickle humans can be.

It's true that you never really know someone. Everyone has a hidden layer and it's hidden for a damn good reason.

Boring as my life is, I'm appreciative for what I have: job, friends, hope for the future. I think we'll all be happier if we can learn to enjoy being with ourselves. Men are seriously, seriously over-rated.