Monday, March 31, 2008 . 10:47 PM

In the third month of 2008, I finished watching 2 Korean dramas that are absolutely fan-ta-bulous.

I started with New Heart first, since it had finished its run by the time I got around to watching it. I wanted to save the hassle of waiting for the episodes to come out and only watched when I had the entire series. Turned out to be a wise decision, especially for the second series, Hong Gil Dong.

I'll try not to make comparisons, but if I really have to, Hong Gil Dong shows a depth that have been lacking in recent series. Let's put aside the fact that this series is by the Hong sisters who gave us My Girl (yet another of my favorite) and Sassy Girl Chun Hyun. I think they actually outdid themselves with the richness of each character, right down to even the supporting roles.

I won't talk about the relationship between the 3 leads because what fascinated me the most was the father-son relationship between Hong and his father. The way Hong's father's character was written, I hadn't expect to empathize with him, but he won me over in the end. I could understand, even if I couldn't forgive his actions.

In another world, he would be lauded for his loyalty.

Actually, I do laud him for his loyalty. He did what he thought was right and left no room for regrets. I think he couldn't allow himself to regret for that would mean that he had lived his life in vain. A man as proud as him would never admit he was wrong... besides, the entire country had suffered for his mistakes, so how could he admit?

But I believed that in his heart, he knew that though his intentions were honorable, things had turned horribly awry. Every step of the way he seeked to redress the wrong, but ended up committing more evil. But in the end, he redeemed himself. How many actually have his courage?

And the King. A tragic figure.

Actually, come to think of it, every single character in the show is a tragic figure twisted around fate's pinkie.

It's been a while since a story touched me this deeply. It reminded me again of the magic of imagination.

The tears may dry and the feelings evaporate, but the emotions Hong Gil Dong has stirred in me did its job - reminding me why I love to create worlds that few people see.

Thank you.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 . 8:24 AM

The latest album from Jasmine/Fish Leong is fantastic. On repeat on my player is a song by fellow Malaysian singer-song writer, 宇恒.

会呼吸的痛
作词：姚若龙　 作曲：宇恒

在东京铁塔　第一次眺望
看灯火模仿　坠落的星光
我终於到达　但却更悲伤
一个人完成　我们的梦想

你总说　时间还很多　你可以等我
以前我不懂得　未必明天　就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛　它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛　看你的信会痛　连沈默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛　它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛　恨不懂你会痛　想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上　张扬过哀伤
那是种多么　寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙　让我去流浪
在原地等我　把自己捆绑

你没说　你也会软弱　需要依赖我
我就装不晓得　自由移动　自我地过

我发誓不再说谎了　多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了　灵魂像飘浮著　你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候　陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳　怕心被人触碰　你回来那就好了

能重来那就好了

Generally speaking, I think lyrics from the past are more descriptive and easier to understand. They speak to the masses. Now... let's just say that at times I scratch my head over 方文山's lyrics. Especially 青花瓷, can anyone say 'cheem'?

Anyway, I think that 方文山 is an amazing lyricist regardless.

But I'm currently more enamoured of 宇恒. She's one talented lady and can sing pretty well, so I really can't understand why she's not gaining popularity like say, Cheer Chen. Just like my dear Kenji Wu. Although he's doing quite well now, I think he can do better.

I heard his song over the radio yesterday and was a tad disappointed. 将军令 was a fantastic album, his best to date, I dare say. But if the one song I heard is indicative of his new album, I have to say that I'm not surprised. It sounds very Kenji.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Jay Chou suffered the backlash and I hope dear Kenji, my favoritest male singer, can escape the same fate.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 . 8:46 AM

Sometimes, I forget how lucky I am.

This is why I read the news. It never fails to serve up a good dose of Harsh Reality, which will kick me in the face and remind me why I should thank God instead of lamenting about things that I don't have, but want desperately.

Of course, when I feel in need of some self-pity, it's a matter of surfing over to Dawn Yang's blog or some hot starlet's and gaze upon their porcelain perfectness and the crushing wave of jealousy would sustain me for weeks to come.

What is it with humans and comparisons? Why do I feel the need to constantly measure myself against both possible and impossible meters? Then again, what is so different between me and say, Paris Hilton? (Ans: One's a slut and the other is not.) But seriously. She's just luckier... or perhaps I am (I'm not the one with the sex tape floating around). All the constant judgement is so tiring.

Why can't we accept that we are different? Is it a good thing to be gorgeous? Or rich? Or famous? We put stock in the least important things. What is beauty without kindness? What good does your money do if you're going to hoard it or makes you constantly doubt others' intentions towards you? What good is fame when, in the depths of the night, you find loneliness your only bedmate?

Perhaps I do not need beauty, fame or richness.

Perhaps I have been waiting for the wrong train after all.

Friday, March 14, 2008 . 8:54 AM

I suppose it's great that The Deathly Hallows will be showed in its [almost] entirety. But forgive the cynical streak in me, I can't buy the bullshit that the decision to split the final movie into a 2-parter is purely for creative reasons. The studio backing this picture is obviously already counting the dollars that will pour in.

For me, I don't care what the reasons behind it all. I only know that I'm going to have 2 movies to anticipate in 2010 and 2011. I'll be 27. O-kay...

Despite working only 4 days this week, I'm tired. So freaking tired.

Sharon insisted that I have to play overnight mahjong with them. And this is after I tell myself that I'm taking a break this week. Oh well, they have always come through for me, esp. Jolyn. So I should return the favor, show my appreciation. I dearly hope that I can find time to skip home and change my eyewear later.

Judging by the no. of sticks they smoke, my eyes will not last the night and this is my last pair of contacts till end of the month. Why do I lead such a boring life? It's either mahjong or I stay home. Shouldn't a girl my age be out enjoying her youth?

I'm living my old age way before my time.

Monday, March 10, 2008 . 4:19 PM

Almost every Saturday since CNY, I have been playing mahjong. Does that make me an addict? Mom certainly seems to think so.

I've won some... and lost more. But the bottomline is that I'm happy when I play. Oh alright, I admit that I feel like crap if I'm losing (which is more often than not), but that's quickly forgotten when the itch sets in.

When you got to mahjong, you mahjong. Except with Mel.

Out of consideration for our already tumultuous friendship, I should not further shake things up with mahjong.

Now Mel... I haven't intended to blog about our friendship, but since I've already mentioned her. I admit that I have a love-hate thing going on here. She's a fun person and I enjoy talking to her. Everytime we meet, I get reminded of just how much fun we used to have.

From Aaron's famous luncheons, where everyone from sch apparently wants to get invited to, to weekly boring anime screenings, which is actually an excuse for us to gorge on Aaron's pasta. We got fat together and those were the fun-boring days.

I used to envy her for having friends to go out clubbing with every weekend. I envied her luck with men, with jobs, with people. But I could never find any shred of resentment for her in my heart because she was always there for me.

Sometime last year, everything changed.

She broke up with Jem. Hung out 24/7 with her colleagues. Partied hard. Neglected friends.

It was obvious who was the priority and it clearly wasn't me. I felt hurt, but felt like a kid if I kicked up a fuss, though privately, I did.

I felt like I lost a precious friend.

Perhaps things were okay still, in a way. Because she was on MSN and we would talk online even if we couldn't meet. Then, she invited me to parties and, that little period of my life was the wildest I've ever been.

But what is wild to me couldn't be any tamer to someone like say, Dawn Yang. Or Gillian Chung. Or even Elsie. Probably not the last, but you get the drift. I caught a little glimpse of her life and can't say I enjoyed it all that much.

Then, she had her downs and I tried to be there for her, offering all that she has offered before: support, friendship, girltime.

That period of time is gone and she's busier than ever. We barely communicate at all and the last time I saw her was... last month, during CNY. All other plans to meet after that fell through.

Have I lost a friend? It definitely feels that way to me. But constantly working at maintaining any relationship without help from the other party is tiring. Actually, it has gotten to a point whereby it is awkward to see each other. I don't know what to say sometimes.

The comfort zone that belonged to us... no longer feels quite so comfortable.

Monday, March 03, 2008 . 10:03 AM

That was a scene from my roadshow at Suntec over the weekend. Turnout was great, but sales wasn't. We sold only 10 cars the 4 days we were there...

Anyway, I was lounging at home over the weekend (after an intensive MJ session at Sharon's colleagues' place where I once again got butchered) and totally forgot that I had a teardown to go to at 11pm! I ambled into my room at 10.45pm and saw a missed call from my dear colleague and still wondered why he called.

Then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks.

Trust me, the revelation hurts like a bitch. Anyway, I didn't go and I'm worrying about my apprisal in June. Worrywart? Don't think so... my boss is a scorpion and we all know what that means.

Hey! I'm a scorpion too, so I only know too well.

*sighs dejectedly*

Yet another revelation hit me on the way to work this morning. I don't want to be in a relationship. I wondered why it took me so long to understand myself. I'm in love with the idea of love, but I don't deal so well with real men. They are always... lacking in some aspects. I can't deal with their flaws.

Bloody hell, I can't even deal with my flaws! How do I handle this? I don't know. It isn't wrong to want to be single and alone, is it? I'm not lonely, though it gets boring sometimes. I just... dislike dealing with all these issues. It is easier to just be by yourself sometimes.