Saturday, September 29, 2007 . 12:53 AM

Cars to die for

Thursday, September 27, 2007 . 11:56 PM

Just like that, it's been 2 months since I started working again. Time flies, despite having to be at work at 8.15am sharp everyday. I'm used to rolling out of bed before Mister Sun does and wrapping myself up in my green blanket at work to keep from freezing to death.

What I cannot get used to is not having to go through 10-20 items on my to-do list everyday. Everything progresses at a leisurely pace - at least it is that way for me. I'm sure some of my colleagues would beg to differ. I'm learning new things everyday from my manager and colleagues.

Ren is mad about cars and he delights in telling people about his passion. All I know about cars, I learnt from him.

Philip loves cars too, but 10 years with the company is not a joke. He knows the industry inside out and outside in, don't even attempt to fool or pretend to know more than he does. Because you don't.

And of course there are other colleagues, but... that's another story.

Work aside, I think I am a horrid person. To be more precise, I'm a selfish, self-serving person.

Sometimes, it is impossible to reconcile reality with your... daydreams. You may think you want something, is ready for something and can accept someone. But you can't control your heart or your feelings.

It's like telling yourself you want to buy a car. You know you can afford a Kia Picanto or perhaps a Mitsubishi I, but not the Volkswagen Beetle. However, your heart's desire is the Beetle, what do you do? You know it's just not possible, so you tell yourself to settle.

The salesman then try to tell you that the Proton Savvy, which you definitely are not considering in the first place. But you think, it is a car and you wanted a car... so you convince yourself to test drive it. But you end up feeling disgruntled - something just isn't right.

But the more you think about it, the more you wonder why you can't accept it. After all, it is a car and serves its purpose of bringing you from point A to point B. So what if it doesn't look as cool as a Beetle? Maybe after driving it for a while, you might like it? The idea of zipping around in a car is simply too hard to resist...

So you go for the second test drive and somehow convinced yourself to pay a deposit for it... then regrets, doubts set in. Why oh why? There are so many things wrong with it - you don't like the way it looks, there is that weird sound it makes when starting up, it doesn't have controls on the steering wheels, nor 6 airbags, nor keyless entry... And then you decide to forgo the deposit and not buy.

Not until you can find a car you really, really like and can afford.

What I am trying to say is: I'm sorry I toyed around with the idea of buying a car I know is not suitable for me. I really want a car, but until I clear some hurdles (like passing my basic theory) and find a car that suits me, I cannot commit to just any car.

The above is just an analogy.