Tuesday, November 21, 2006 . 11:53 AM
I'm in a friendless state.Elsie and Alvin have headed to Krabi for their 2nd year anniversary trip and Sharon (MCM) is in Australia. God knows when she'll be back since she did not tell us.
Sharon, if you're reading this, know that we are not pleased with you. Zhong se qing you!
Lest you think that I only have 3 friends... I do not, I have about 5. Jemy and Mel are in town, but they are currently busy. Too busy for me. Fine...
I can forgive Jemy since I'm going to see him 4 times a week for the next 2 weeks. But Mel! What excuses do you have?
'I'm usually not zhong se qing you' doesn't cut it.
Like I said, I have mean friends. I need new friends!!
On a happier note, I can buy my mobile next Monday! All's that left is for me to decide on which phone to get. I'm not telling which phone I've set my heart on, lest I change my mind and is accused (rightly) of being fickle.
But women are fickle-minded creatures... when it comes to the small things. And I usually have no regrets once the decision has been made. Usually. There have been instances, but we all have to live with life's regrets.
But that's not the point. I always believe in making informed decisions. Gather and analyse all information before making a choice. I do enough impulse buying when it comes to clothes, shoes, bags and accessories. When it comes to the expensive items, I want to know what I'm paying for, the pros and the cons.
When I bought my MP3 player, I spent 2 weeks on research.
When I considered buying a digital camera, I spent 1 month and in the end, gave up the notion for lack of funds.
Now, it's been close to 2 months since I began the sourcing for The Phone. Once or twice I nearly gave into the impulse to just get a phone. Any phone. But sanity reigned. Or rather, reality intruded. My plan with Singtel is on its 20th month. 9 more days till 1st Dec, 6 more days till next Monday when I can finally, finally, put everyone out of their misery and buy my phone.
Friends, I know I've been hassling you for opinions and feedback, but you know why I'm hassling you, right? Cos all of you are so much more tech-savvy than me and of course, have much better taste than me! All your input are much appreciated and have definitely aided my decision-making process. Love you all!
Sunday, November 19, 2006 . 5:38 AM
Tomorrow-FanyI have no IT skills whatsoever. Granted, I've no training in that department, but still! I think I should be able to resize a video... but no no no. It's still overflowing from my text box. So annoying, but I've given up trying to fiddle with it. Maybe I should find another blogskin.
Anyway, the music video is from this Korean drama (Over the Rainbow) I've just finished watching over the weekend. It stars Ji Hyun Woo, who resembles Rain. Rain may have bigger pecs, but this fella has such a sweet, dorky smile!
The other actor, Fany, looks like Ambrose Hsu, a Taiwanese actor. Don't ask me why he's got a girl's name or is named after a body part, I have no idea. But he's got terribly dreamy eyes. I'm a sucker for guys with small eyes.
But I'm coming to the conclusion that all pretty faces tend to look the same after a while. You know what that means?
Boring!
Yup, so if you want interesting, it probably doesn't mean very... aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, I'm being very politically correct here. No doubt it's someone's fault.
Anyway, the drama I was watching is Over the Rainbow, a drama with lots of dancing, posing and crying involved. The dances were nice. The drama was... not. I like the parts where Ji Hyun Woo smiles his aw-shucks smile. His dimples play peekaboo with me and I feel weak in the knees. Let me try to find a photo of him with that swoon-inducing smile.
You see. You see! He's darn adorable right?
He's so tall, 1.85m. Come people, let's all drool... Alright, for the benefit of the people who likes the brooding, cool type, here's 1 of the other male lead, Fany. Be very afraid of those eyes, they're lethal!
After I stopped drooling long enough to be drawn into the drama, I cried buckets of tears. Then again, I cry while watching Lilo & Stitch. Monsters Inc. Ice Age. Yeah, I know, I'm an emotional person, aka sucker.
I have a love-hate relationship with Ji Hyun Woo's character, Hyeok Joo.
I love his steadfastness. He never wavered in his love and despite betrayal by his loved one, he stood by her and willingly allowed her to step all over him. And eventually, when she left him, he went all out to win her back, including doing things that he eventually would regret. Which girl wouldn't want a guy who would be so committed to her?
Yet, I hate how selfish he is. In the process of winning his love back, another girl entered the picture. He encouraged her. He taught her to dance and gave her confidence. Of course, she fell in love with him. And when he knew that she likes him, what did he do? That jerk led her on. He got all jealous when Fany expressed interest in her. He was caring and concerned and everything that a man who was interested in a woman would behave. And in the girl's presence, he snubbed his ex-girlfriend when she came to see him.
Tell me, did he lead the poor girl on or what?
When he got back with his ex-girlfriend, his friends were pissed off with him. And rightly so! One of his friends said something to him which made me cry every single time I listen to it. I'll post up a transcript of it when I get home tonight.
Anyway, his reunion with his girlfriend didn't last. I was actually disappointed when they broke up. After hurting that poor girl, after he told his friends how he has to be true to his heart, after saying how he only felt friendship for that girl, actually, deep inside, he's fallen for her.
What crap. What utter drivel. A man can be a lot of things, but the one thing he can't be, is indecisive. He chose his ex and hurt the other girl terribly. What gives him the right to go to the other girl 2 years later and beg for a chance? Why the hell did he wait 2 years, that bastard?
And why did the girl not fling his heart on the floor and give it a good stomping on?
All right, I'm being vengeful here and I'll just end up a bitter woman. But what I'm trying to get at is these Korean dramas are damned misleading.
1. If you're the poor girl who got dumped by that indecisive jerk who decided to go back to his ex, chances are, there will be no gorgeous male waiting in the wings, nursing a crush on you.
2. The chances of the jerk breaking up with his ex and coming back to you is rather low, so move on already! But before you do that, stand up for yourself and all women by giving that insensitive bastard a piece of your mind. You can't treat a woman like a spare and expect to get away with it!
3. Do not wait 2 yrs for him. Not even 2 months. Or 2 weeks. Move on! If you can't, at least pretend to have. You're not doing anyone any favors by hanging on to the past.
I hate indecisive men.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 . 12:23 AM
Today at work, boss asked me to do a newsletter for investors and the media to recap the milestones the company has achieved for the year 2006. He started me thinking:What are the milestones in my life this year?
When I looked back at this past year, it amazed me to realize that I haven't done anything much with it.
January - returned home from US/Korea feeling excited but worn out from living out of a suitcase. Nonetheless, I commenced my job search.
February & March - landed a few interview and eventually landed a job at Egg Story Creative Productions. The best thing that came out of my stint there was knowing Damian and learning things from him even though I stayed very briefly. He is really one of the more inspiring and interesting people I've met so far in my life.
April to July - languished at home, catching up on endless Korean, Taiwanese and even Chinese dramas. Finished six seasons of Sex & the City in one sitting. Panicked briefly when Sharon (the MCM one) found a job just a few weeks into her job search when I've been at it for months. Made a sudden decision to enrol in SIM in a bid to motivate myself to seriously look for a job.
August - God took pity on me and answered my prayers. Started work at M2B after NDP. Despite a not too pleasant first impression, I didn't have the impulse to not turn up for work the next day. Though that's probably because I know I need the job.
September to November - without knowing, time has flown by and guess what, I'm still with M2B. But in the brief time I've been there, I've seen so many comings and goings. It really affects the morale of the staff, at least I know I am feeling off-kilter. On the school front, I've cleared an essay, completed a business plan and presentation, as well as faced an exam. In six more days, I'll be embarking on my first intensive two weeks course on Approaches to Communication Research.
So yeah, that was a recap of my life. Unless I can count having worked five months out of a year an achievement, I really don't think I've properly utilized my time. So there you have it. I've totally wasted my 22nd year on earth, I've wasted my very limited youth. But it's too late for regrets, all I can do is to make sure that I cherish every moment from now on.
Although it's not quite December, I'll like to make my first resolution for 2007:
January - returned home from US/Korea feeling excited but worn out from living out of a suitcase. Nonetheless, I commenced my job search.
February & March - landed a few interview and eventually landed a job at Egg Story Creative Productions. The best thing that came out of my stint there was knowing Damian and learning things from him even though I stayed very briefly. He is really one of the more inspiring and interesting people I've met so far in my life.
April to July - languished at home, catching up on endless Korean, Taiwanese and even Chinese dramas. Finished six seasons of Sex & the City in one sitting. Panicked briefly when Sharon (the MCM one) found a job just a few weeks into her job search when I've been at it for months. Made a sudden decision to enrol in SIM in a bid to motivate myself to seriously look for a job.
August - God took pity on me and answered my prayers. Started work at M2B after NDP. Despite a not too pleasant first impression, I didn't have the impulse to not turn up for work the next day. Though that's probably because I know I need the job.
September to November - without knowing, time has flown by and guess what, I'm still with M2B. But in the brief time I've been there, I've seen so many comings and goings. It really affects the morale of the staff, at least I know I am feeling off-kilter. On the school front, I've cleared an essay, completed a business plan and presentation, as well as faced an exam. In six more days, I'll be embarking on my first intensive two weeks course on Approaches to Communication Research.
So yeah, that was a recap of my life. Unless I can count having worked five months out of a year an achievement, I really don't think I've properly utilized my time. So there you have it. I've totally wasted my 22nd year on earth, I've wasted my very limited youth. But it's too late for regrets, all I can do is to make sure that I cherish every moment from now on.
Although it's not quite December, I'll like to make my first resolution for 2007:
To make 2007 the most memorable year of my life.
Ambitious resolution, I know, but ambition breeds challenge breeds motivation. When I turn 24 next year, I hope that I'll be able to reflect more proudly of my achievement from the past year. I don't want to rely on other people to make me happy, I want to find happiness from within. I think that's a challenge I have to face.
It took me a long time to remove the shackles that has been binding me to the past. I think, it's finally time to move on and begin anew. But the story about the shackles? That's for another time.
Perhaps. We'll see...
It took me a long time to remove the shackles that has been binding me to the past. I think, it's finally time to move on and begin anew. But the story about the shackles? That's for another time.
Perhaps. We'll see...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 . 10:57 AM
I still can't make up my mind which mobile to get in 16 days' time. It might sound like a short time, but trust me, it's an eternity for me. Since the 1st of Nov, I'll be eagerly anticipating the day I can head down to Singtel, trade in my SE k700i and saunter out with my beautiful Samsung... something.
But you know, the most difficult decision is to have to pick between form and function. Why can't they combine both form and function? Actually, there is a phone that has both form and function.
Nokia 7390, part of the L'Amour collection, is a clamshell phone with a 3 mega pixel camera. It was brought to my notice by Sharon (my colleague) who's also looking to upgrade her mobile. We've kind of agreed that our mobiles are almost obsolete, so we need to get new ones! See, so this Nokia phone combines form and function right? What's the problem? The problem is that it's Nokia.
I want a Samsung phone, not a Nokia one. Can someone change the brand please?
But other than that, I think the pink is so pretty and I adore the tag thing on the side of the phone. Such interesting details. But it's Nokia. And it's not available yet. God knows how long I have to wait and how much it will cost. Ugh~
Anyway, 16 more days (or slightly less) and I will be awarded for my patience, a spanking new mobile. I can't wait. The question that remains is which phone will be going home with me?
Amongst others, I'm also looking at:
Sony Ericsson Z610i
LG Chocolate KG800
LG K810
Nokia 7390, part of the L'Amour collection, is a clamshell phone with a 3 mega pixel camera. It was brought to my notice by Sharon (my colleague) who's also looking to upgrade her mobile. We've kind of agreed that our mobiles are almost obsolete, so we need to get new ones! See, so this Nokia phone combines form and function right? What's the problem? The problem is that it's Nokia.
I want a Samsung phone, not a Nokia one. Can someone change the brand please?
But other than that, I think the pink is so pretty and I adore the tag thing on the side of the phone. Such interesting details. But it's Nokia. And it's not available yet. God knows how long I have to wait and how much it will cost. Ugh~
Anyway, 16 more days (or slightly less) and I will be awarded for my patience, a spanking new mobile. I can't wait. The question that remains is which phone will be going home with me?
Amongst others, I'm also looking at:
Sony Ericsson Z610i
LG Chocolate KG800
LG K810How am I supposed to choose? They're all so beautiful... Seriously torn man...
Sunday, November 12, 2006 . 9:35 AM
Exams are over! Rejoice! Strange, I only had 1 paper and it wasn't that tough a subject, why do I sound so stressed out when I was actually not? I was almost late for exams though... but since most Singaporeans have a nasty habit of not being on time, I was naturally not the only one.Anyway I smoked my way through the paper. But there were a few questions that did not require smoking and I attempted them. Guess memorizing some terms did come in handy after all.
Right now, I'm waiting for Jesse to finish her preparation so we can head out. I woke up at 8am on a Sunday morning... it's been a long while since I had to wake so early on a Sunday, feeling... nostalgic.
I remember the days when I had to wake up early on weekends to do Speed Dating/Workshops/Cycling at Ubin. I didn't feel the least bit resentful that I have to wake up early everyday of the week.
Oops, Jesse has left her house, got to meet her. Maybe I'll blog later!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006 . 9:39 AM
Early Wednesday morning and here I am, sitting in the office and blogging. If only my boss can see me now. Yeah, he'll fire me for sure.He's coming back tomorrow and the mouse (that's me) will have to play nice. I guess as bosses go, he's not that bad. I mean, true, he's not my best friend, but neither is he a fire-breathing dragon, a la Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.
I've sent out some resumes yesterday and hopefully will send out more in the days to come. I just feel like... I don't know. Maybe people can never be satisfied with what they have? This is a relatively good job - low stress, good pay considering the hours and relatively relaxed office environment. What else could I want right?
More... interesting things to do I guess. I know I shouldn't think like that since I have other commitments, i.e. the studies, but I can't help feelings bored. I need to be in on the action. I've got to see things happening! And I'm not seeing it.
Remember the arts event, I flourished. Even though I didn't have to do much except plead with everyone to turn up for the event. And do the poster. And make sure the video got loaded. And pack some goodie bags. It was still fun cos I can see the whole event unfolding. I know whether it is a success or not.
Call me superficial, but I just like to see results. What my efforts amounted to.
A year and a half ago I was so comfortable with the way my life's turned out. Now, suddenly, everything's in a mess. Aren't I supposed to get wiser with age? What happened to that? ----------------------------------------------------
Original post on Nov 07.
I knew it, I just knew it. After the excitement of my birthday, reality dropped in my lap.
Exams in 2 days' time!
I only studied 2 chapters so far. I'm so dead. I look at the notes and immediately, I feel sleepy. How the hell am I ever going to finish studying? Right now, all I'm doing is reading through them, I haven't even attempted committing them to memory. Somehow, that seems to be an impossibility.
What the heck, I'm going to have to smoke my way through the damn paper when the time comes. Seriously, who the hell has time to study? At least, I hope none of them!
Exams matters aside, I am constantly puzzled by why couples nowadays seem to be talking about break-up as casually as if they were discussing the weather. No, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about other people. People who probably aren't reading my blog.
Yeah, someone asked me recently if breaking up is the solution to their problems. The charge is lack of interest in the relationship. But I look at the couple, they're so young, barely into their mid-20s and have a long, long, long way to go.
Call me cynical, but I never thought they were going to end up together. I have no idea where or when the idea was drilled into me. If you're dating a guy younger than 27, you can forget that it will lead anywhere.
Seriously, is that screwed up or what? I have this mentality that guys younger than that have no idea what they want in life, they have no direction and are still experimenting. I want to steer clear away from them lest I become a failed experiment.
Guys older than that are more settled and probably would have a better idea of what they want. Therefore, with their goals firmly in place, I would have a lower chance of crashing and burning. Not that the risk is obsolete, but it is minimized.
And this, people, is how I earn my reputation of having no sense of adventure, for not having the guts to take risks. It's true. I have so many stereotypes of people that I just can't break. I am trying, really. But as I've learned from Mr Augustine (yeah, that lecturer from SIM, he does teach some useful stuff), a person's beliefs are the hardest to change.
I keep wondering where I got that set of belief about younger men... I don't know, from my parents? Dad is younger than mom, although they're not romantic and don't go out anymore, at least I know they are still committed to each other.
Actually, reflecting on my background, I should be all for the older woman/younger guy thing! Strange... I'm weird.
Monday, November 06, 2006 . 12:00 PM
This year's birthday celebrations was good. I had the obligatory cake and dinner with my favorite people, minus one or two who're overseas (Aaron, this is the 3rd birthday you've missed, you better be around for the 4th! Christine, I'm expecting something good from KL yeah?).And of course, I got a little tipsy (oh all right, make that very) on sparkling wine and long island tea. What can I say? I'm a lousy drinker, but you all knew that and still you make me drink! I officially hate bubblies now. Sparkling wine tastes good, but all that effervescence makes me nauseous. I didn't puke though and after a heavy dinner (sushi, sashimi and beef kaminabe - no I'm not cursing), drinks and cake, I still managed to swallow mashed potato from 7-11.
Amazing. And I am obsessed with 7-11's mashed potato, it's so good.
I'll post up some decent pictures in a while, but I've got to say this to my friends:
Can you all keep the alcohol away from me? Please? I'm done embarrassing myself when I'm drunk!Yeah, that's one of my resolutions for the year. To try not to get drunk. I guess the only way is
stay away from the high risk places and people (yeah, that means you, Mel). So no more! Dlb O this Friday? No freaking way. Count me out. Nope, I'm not going!
Pictures in the next post, but thanks guys, for all the wonderful (and no-so-wonderful) memories you've brought me. I love the gift! All the gifts. :)
Sunday, November 05, 2006 . 5:09 AM
Less than 36 hours to my 23rd birthday and here I am, creating a blog.If you want to know why the sudden decision to join onto the blogging bandwagon, I guess it's because I want to step out and air some of my thoughts. You know how sometimes your mind is teeming with so much information that you desperately need an outlet for release? Yeah, I get like that sometimes and recently, these episodes have been occurring with increasing frequency.
I wonder if it's a sign of old age. I sincerely hope not!
5.07am. I'm still awake. Erm, Kara, if you don't see me in church, you'll know why...
Anyway, in Popular Bookshop today, I found an interesting book, 'The Toast Always Lands Buttered Side Down' or something like that. It talks about Murphy's law in our daily life and I particularly agree with this one:
Hindsight is 20/20There've been many, many, many cases when someone tells me, or I'll say, "If only..." But by then, everything is too late. You would have missed the boat. Everyone, at some point in time, would miss some boats. And usually, that boat would turn out to be the biggest regret of their life.
At [almost] 23, I look back at how I've led my life and admittedly, there were things that could have been done better, issues resolved with more tact and efficiency. But isn't life a learning process? The whole point, in my opinion, is to get things wrong so that you eventually will get them right.
The person who does not err will never know the sweetness of success. I've stumbled. I've fallen. But I am proud to say that in this moment of my life, I can proclaim that I have never trampled on anyone in order to rise to the top. I have never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. There might have been thoughts, but they remained only that.
At times, I wonder if I had been willing to stoop a little lower, to put my morales on the line, would I be able to secure what I want? Dangerous thoughts to have, but I have them nonetheless. I do battle with these temptations everyday.
Life would be so much easier if I could stop abiding by society's moralistic standards. If only I can focus on my own needs and ignore the casualties if I choose pursue my heart's desires. But it all boils down to the fact that I am restrained by my principles and upbringing.
And so that is why I find myself searching now for a hiding place for those desires that should never see the light of day. Let me seal them in and toss the key away. Keep the demons at bay so I don't start committing errors that I swore I would never do.